Dirty Tackle

Rafa Benitez’s notebook (Man City v Chelsea)

(Getty)

Roberto Mancini comes into the match under pressure. He will be nervous. But I am not. Because interim managers cannot be sacked.

Jack Rodwell plays for Manchester City???

Advice for Frank Lampard: If you take a penalty, Joe Hart won't be expecting a shot he can save.

Demba Ba's face mask...can managers wear them too?

Must tell Ramirez to do something.

City getting more chances. Ivanovic needs to shoot more.

Chelsea fans sing Roberto Di Matteo's name in the 16th minute since that was his shirt number, so what minute will they sing my name when I'm gone? All of the others.

Real Madrid interim manager Rafa Benitez.

Yaya Toure definitely won't score today.

Jinxed it.

Just realized that Oscar is on the bench. Better put him on at the next opportunity and pretend that was the plan all along.

Must buy wider ties.

Need goals. Time to put Fernando Torres in to defend corner kicks.

Carlos Tevez comes off the bench to score a goal?! Strikers can't do that!

We are struggling because of fixture congestion. Sir Alex Ferguson secretly arranges the fixtures. Therefore, Alex Ferguson is once again conspiring against me. It is the only way he can win. Sad.