Shortly after Joe Kinnear was controversially appointed director of football at Newcastle Utd, the man who once swore 52 times in a Magpies press conference continued to create extra work for the club's beleaguered public relations department by giving several baffling interviews.
In a now-famous phone-in with radio station talkSPORT, Kinnear struggled to pronounce several of the squad's names correctly (Yohan 'Kebab'; Shola 'Amamobi') and claimed to have signed several players for Wimbledon and Newcastle who were actually brought in by different managers.
This week, the former Tottenham defender's complicated relationship with the truth has continued in an exclusive interview with The Shields Gazette. Kinnear slayed the dragon named accuracy with virtually every sentence, treating facts like an abstract concept. Here are some choice cuts:
"Every top club in the land has got [a director of football]."
If Kinnear can name one that isn't employed by Manchester City, Tottenham or Sunderland, we will be very impressed.
"I'm probably the only football manager to be a director of football. I don't know any other ex-managers who have."
Kenny Dalglish was director of football at both Blackburn and Celtic, David Pleat has done it at two of Kinnear's former clubs (Notts Forest and Spurs), Dennis Wise—who Kinnear really should know—did it at Newcastle, Avram Grant held the role at Chelsea and Portsmouth, Ron Atkinson did it at both Coventry City and Kettering Town, Barry Fry is at Peterbrough... we could go on.
"I've been a manager for 35 years."
Nope, Kinnear was a manager for 26 years, with around nine years of unemployment during that period.
"I've won every award there is in football as a player."
He won a UEFA Cup, an FA Cup, two League Cups and a Community Shield with Spurs in the 60s and 70s. Suffice to say, there are a lot more things to win than this.
"Some directors of football have never played the game. I'm lending my experience as a manager for all those years – 10 years at Wimbledon..."
It was seven.
"...two years at Nottingham Forest..."
It was less than a calendar year before he left Forest in 22nd place in the Championship.
"...and, of course, almost two years at Newcastle. I would still be there had it [a heart attack] not occurred."
Kinnear spent a little over six months at Newcastle, and there would be more chance of Alan Shearer getting a Sunderland tattoo on his forehead than him still being manager today without the heart attack.
"I think all those qualities put me head and shoulders above every other director of football."
If any of these qualities were true, we would probably still disagree.